February 2012
I’d have a better handle on life if it were shaped like a penis.
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It’s almost 2 in the morning and I still have a bra on.
Which one of you fuckers drugged me today?
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Teacher: A long time ago people thought there were only four elements. Can anyone guess what they were?
Me: Water. Earth. Fire. Air. Long ago, the four nations lived together in harmony. Then everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked. Only the Avatar, master of all four elements, could stop them, but when the world needed him most, he vanished.
Teacher:
Me:
teacher: what?
Me: what?
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I tried to kill a spider with hairspray.
It’s still alive, but its hair looks amazing.
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My spirit animal is a bipolar bear.
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Sorry guys, I was too busy watching FLCL and smooching all weekend with Jared to run a quality* blog.
*shit
I’m always amazed by how distracted I get by my own boobs.
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WatchWhy? Why do you people like me?
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I’m only horny on days that begin.
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